It has been one of those weeks. This whole reflecting on my practice has been a bad idea. On layoff into my third month now, I have had difficulty fighting off those doubts that tend to sneak up when you least expect it. I have attempted to keep busy, either with this blog, or doing some work with the Ab Ed provincial specialist association or with my local bargaining team, but it is hard to avoid dark thoughts sometimes: am I really so bad a teacher that no one wants to work with me?
In addition, having to put up with that report on Ab Ed and not seeing any of the big education stake holders putting up any real response has been sort of depressing. I than look around at what others are doing for Aboriginal education and I am humbled by their work and innovation. What do I contribute? Nothing like some things I have seen.
I was moved by the post Why we do what we do- Bookends of a perfect day by Shannon on her Shannon in Ottawa blog, but it did not liven my thoughts, as I dwelled on this dark place and demanded to know why I had become a teacher. I happened to be wandering the mall thinking this: Why do I keep doing this?
"Hey Mr. G!"
"Hello T., how are you?"
"Great! Working hard. How you been? We miss you at school."
"Well, I was over at Agassiz for a while, and now I'm ToC'ing."
"Wow, that sucks. Hope the kids aren't too bad, we could be rough sometimes."
"No, it's all good."
"That's good. Well, I gotta go, it was nice to see you again, don't be a stranger, Mr. G."
"No worries T., take care, eh."
"Yeah, you too."